Banter from the next Judd Apatow Film…or not…

Zach: I got it. we’ll call my cousin alec.
cat: who?
Z: cousin alec.
cat: gay cousin alec?
Z: yeah
c: no. no. nonono.
Z: why not?
c. last time i saw him he told me that I had a fat ass
Z; that was like 5 years ago. and besides. he was drunk. and he’s gay. that’s like…what he does.
c. no, zach. no. put down the phone. zach…put down the phone. zach?
(fight ensues with the cell phone being tossed between the guys. finally cat is pinned beneath ben and we hear zach say…
z: alec! buddy! I need a favor. it’s kind of an emergency.

The guys are talking amongst themselves while they play a video game.

B; i mean, she’s got nice tits. that’s got to count for something
D: well, obviously. they’re tits
Z: yeah, but I mean you have to aknowledge the fact that she knows more about portal than I do.
D: that doesn’t negate the fact that she’s got nice tits
B: no, but it also doesn’t help the fact that she acts like a raging lesbian
D: a raging lesbian with nice tits
Z: Dan!
D; what?
Z: shut the fuck up. we’re trying to have a discussion here.
D: you’re not discussing anyhting. you’re talking about cat’s tits.
B: or lack thereof.
Z: ben!
B: what?
Z: just…fuck it. (takes a hit).
D: all i’m saying is that you can’t negate nice tits, even if you do like star trek
B: bullshit.
D: what?
B: i’m calling bullshit.
D: why?
B: you’re telling me that if some chick came up to you who looked like…pamela fucking anderson. you’d still tap that, even if she told you that she spoke klingon?
D: dude, if a chick came up to me and told me she spoke klingon, i’d fuck her then and there.
H: I fucked your mom’s klingon last night
All: shut up, herb.

Cat: I got asked out.
Z: what?
Cat; I got asked out.
B: by who?
Cat: a guy?
D: shit! (dan passes ben 20 bucks)
Cat: fuck you. yes, a guy.
B: I told you, motherfucker.
H: what are you going to wear, dude?
Z: what?
H: I said what are you goign to wear?
C: to what?
h: the date, dude
C: I don’t know.
H: dude, well you better figure that shit out, man. you can’t go looking like that. look at you
C: fuck off. (the guys are all staring at her) what? WHAT?
B: this may be the one and only time i ever say this…but herb’s right man.
D: seriously. i mean…dude.
C (Goes to mirror) what?
Z: they’re right. girls don’t dress like that, cat. I’m just saying.
B: seriously.
c: fuck!

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