The Glorious Return Of Catie (published 5/2008)

For awhile now, I’ve been getting stopped in malls, restaurants, office buildings and airports with the question “When are you going to start writing again?”  Now, as nice as it is being a Q level celebrity in the Quad-City celebrisphere, it started to get really, really annoying.  And so I as I thought over the past year of my life, I realized…my regular readers have missed a lot.
And so, I am incredibly pleased to say: I’m back.
Actually, now that I think on it, I get asked a lot of questions on a daily basis that are frustrating to answer over and over. So let’s play catch-up, readers.
College: is fine. Ambrose is fantastic, yes, I like it here and no, I haven’t had any trouble with my roommate. In fact, we are best friends.  No, the food isn’t the best, but yes, I get enough to eat and no, I do not live on ramen noodles.  Yes, I am having fun in college. No, I will not elaborate. You do not want to know.
No, I do not have a boyfriend. And no, I do not want to meet your son/cousin/roommate. Yes, Mom, I know you want grandkids.  Yes, I had a boyfriend, and yes, it is a long, long story.
Yes, I have a job, I still work at the state’s attorney’s office part time. And yes, I still do understand that I could be replaced by a  high functioning Xerox machine. It might even do a better job. Xerox machines don’t take dance breaks.
Yes, I am still a theatre major and no, I do not have a fall back. Yes, I am okay with that. Yes, I know I am going to be poor and hungry, and yes, I’ve picked out a nice box to live in. Yes, I understand that to you, theatre is not a “real job”, and I find that deeply offensive and I will secretly judge you for that statement for the rest of your life. And no, I will not thank you in my acceptance speech.  Yes, I am doing theatre this summer, and yes, I am quite excited for it.
No, I don’t have many plans for the summer. This is because I am saving up money for the greatest adventure of my life, which will be discussed in future columns. Yes, that means you are going to have to keep reading….see what I did there?

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