The Start of Something…

its an interesting feeling, knowing that you’ve faded. it brings up several issues, some of which are either than others. How do you explain to your mother? your friends? how do you go about describing the knowledge that you have become grey? it sounds rediculous, some sort of emo indie hipster slogan for saving the environment through laundry. “I’ve gone grey” isn’t exactly a phrase we hear on a day to day basis.
The idea, then, is rather than trying to escape the feeling, accepting it and using that knowledge to fufill whatever goals and aspirations we may have. Admittedly, there are days when I don’t want to have goals, or dreams, or aspirations. I just want to sleep. but the true power lies in taking the first few steps out of bed, however hesitant they may be.
The best part of all of this is that there is always room for failure, always room for regression. it’s a natural part of life. It’s hard to reprogram your DVD burner–reporgramming your life to color is something that takes finesse and dedication. it won’t happen overnight.
But what exactly is this grey? It’s a feeling of general dissastisfaction, yes, but it’s more than that. It’s a feeling of perpetual melencholy, of wistful longing for some better. It’s fucking depression.

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