Friday was a rough night for me. I don’t do well with being bored. It bothers me when I hear people say they are “bored”, because I don’t understand how, in this fantastically amazing and interesting world, you can’t possibly find one single thing to do, but as there was no rehearsal, the internet was down, Jake was sick and I wasn’t feeling so hot, my evening became an antsy night of sitting by the fire reading a book on Rome. (My life is so hard, right?). So I won’t say that I was “bored”, but I most assuredly, I wasn’t overly busy.
We did wind up going out later that evening and it wound up being an interesting night, which was awesome, and I had a long (and even awesomer) talk with Jake about what I’m doing and the things I’d like to do, which basically was a self-admission that I need to get out and do something creative with my skills.
So then I checked my Facebook, and, really, like some sort of weird hand of fate had intervened, my wonderful friend Andrew posted a short note saying that “hey, I think we should put up your show again”.
Two years ago, for my final directing project, I adapted Sam Shepard’s poetry cycle “Savage/Love” and it was…pretty awesome if I do say so myself.
Somehow, after about 20 minutes of messaging back-and-forth, it was decided that “hell, let’s actually go for it”, which is fantastically exciting and terrifying, all at once. Right now, we are waiting to hear back on a proposal I’ve got in at a theatre company in Minneapolis, so we’ll see what happens.
I just think it’s funny how things work out–out of nowhere, Andrew messaged me at exactly the right time to make me feel like that maybe, things are going to work out for me after all.
On top of that news, last night we ran the show for the first time off-book, and it really went pretty well.
Before rehearsal started, Aaron (playing Titus), threw down the challenge of “go big or go home tonight”. I still haven’t gone as “big” as I’d like to, but having that challenge there gave me something to focus on. During Act 3, which I have dubbed “the worst day in the world”, I have a short 3-minute offstage break before I go back on, and last night, I had a moment where something “clicked” and I just said “fuck it, go big or go home, right?” So, when I came on, I just hit the deck and started (pretending) to cry with every ounce of effort that I had, and what do you know….
Bitches, I cried. (Just a little bit). But still! Progress!
It was actually hilarious– I started crying (for real) and then got so happy and excited that I was crying for real that I stopped crying for real because I was too happy that I was finally crying to cry. Stupid actors.
So there’s that.
Oh, and the rape scene went a lot better last night. Probably because Jake “forgot” to tell me that Andy was going to pull a knife on me, so I’m in the middle of one of my lines when I think “annnnd now there’s a knife on my face”. Awesome. Although, last night I came up with an idea so vile and disgusting that it may not make the final show. I don’t know whether or not to be ashamed or proud of that. I talked it over with Andy and Jessica and Jessica’s vote was “hell yes” and Andy’s vote was “that’s awful”. We’ll see what happens.
Plus, I wrote a sweet song about Titus on my ukelele. Rock.