Bad Movies, Godzilla and Love.

When Jake and I first started hanging out in that “we’re more than friends but we’re not dating”  period of time, I remember looking through his DVD collection and being impressed with his varied and vast collection of shitty movies, namely, horror movies and a nearly complete collection of Toho Kingdom monster films.

While I may have SLIGHTLY exaggerated the number of Godzilla films I’d actually seen in order to impress him (Okay, tripled the number), since our official “first date”, we have watched every single Godzilla movie– in order of release– except for two.

Not only that, but during the crazy process that was Titus, I did some highly questionable internet shopping through some highly questionable sources and managed to track down three of the most elusive movies in the Toho cannon, thusly completing Jake’s collection. I was pretty happy with myself.

So now the collection is complete and I’ve seen nearly all of them.

During October, our house transforms into an-almost admission worthy haunted house, complete with horror-movie nights, which are my favorite. Bad horror movies, above all else, are, to me, a testament to the will and dedication of legions of bad directors, actors and special effects crews the world over.

It’s really kind of amazing when you think about it. Someone thought that “Stabby Nurses from Outerspace” (not a real film) was a good idea. So they wrote the script, raised the money, found enough crew and actors to all be on board with it, and made a crap film. And now we, the unsuspecting public, get to reap the benefits of said crap film. It’s kind of an inspirational message about sticking to your dreams. No matter how terrible they are.

But back to Godzilla.

Godzilla movies are kind of in the same Japanese fishing boat. (HA). They have this great B-movie quality to them, but yet, since 1954, they’ve been churning out movies with, essentially, the same plot over and over again. Plot Synopsis: OH FUCK A GIANT MONSTER. There goes the city! We should use ______________________ to fight him! It worked! And now it heads off to sea/in a big pile of rocks/ice. It probably won’t come back. (Kiss ingenue). The End.

And they’re all great. Well, terrible. And great. There are some really good ones, and there are some that I’ve slept through, but my appreciation for the films keeps growing.

I love it. The ingenuity of the special effects is absolutely remarkable, which, oddly enough, has become one of my favorite things to watch for. (You try puppeteering a seven-headed dragon and see how easy it is). We watched an awesome documentary about how they built the models and did the special effects, and the amount of detail and work they put into things like fake trees is amazing– and all to get fucked up by some asshole in a rubber suit.

I also unsuspectingly became a fan of some of the regular actors that appear in dozens of the films. I don’t know their real names, but “Oh hey, That Guy!” or “Oh Hey, Army Guy!” has become a relatively common occurring during movies.  My favorite is “Oh Hey, Eyepatch Guy!”– the odd “accessories” actor who always seems to have an eyepatch or a fake mustache or something. I like the idea that, much like Brad Pitt always eating, he decided that he always wanted some odd facial adornment.

That’s the other thing. I never thought this would happen, but I have a favorite Godzilla suit. Did you know that it has changed dramatically from its original concept? *Pushes up glasses*.


Jake called that the original Mothra movie would be me favorite. It’s the girliest of them all, and while I hate admitting that  he’s right, the Mothra twins are pretty much my favorite feature in any and all movies they appear in.

So now we have two left, which leaves me in an odd place. After these two, that’s it, that’s all. About halfway through the marathon (which has spanned nearly 2 1/2 years at this point), we realized that we should have been reviewing them. So there’s that option. Start a blog, watch them all again, gain internet fame and fortune, free pass to ComicCon (because mine expired this year…sad day), but part of me wonders what else there is out there.

I have this thing where once I start a show, I want to watch the ENTIRE show in sucesssion. Doctor Who kept me up until 4AM every night for about two months– worth it. We’re working our way through Supernatural now, but we’re only watching one or two a night, so it’s taking much longer than I’d like.

It’s a very strange opposite– I seldom finish video games, but I treat series as a personal challenge to see how many I can watch in a day.

So, after Godzilla is over, what comes next? I had the startlingly odd realization that after Complete Works is over, I have an ENTIRE MONTH to do nothing in the evenings. It’s kind of a glorious feeling. Plus, the Olympics will be starting so our TV viewing will start consisting of nothing but that coverage for awhile, but after those two movies…the world is my proverbial oyster.

Except I’ll probably re-watch the good ones.

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