I forget how quickly time passes when I’m not specifically paying attention. All of the sudden, it’s Friday, and then next Friday, and I haven’t written anything interesting in a month.
It’s weird. I knew, going in, that a full-time job is, exactly, that– full time– but it’s just weird to me how FAST the day goes, even when I’m bored– suddenly, it’s 5PM and I have 3 hours to get all of my errands done before the stores close.
I feel like someone pushed “fast-forward” on my life, and I hate it. I hate the feeling of rushing around trying to get everything accomplished right now, or, when waiting for something, having the delightful anticipation of “it’s coming up in a month” suddenly be “it’s tomorrow” and I am woefully unprepared.
There are two thing that help this. The first, (strangely) is fighting. Something about a sword in my hand and forcing myself to worry about my footwork–and only my footwork– and not about SEO optimization and social media reports and the million billion trivialities that make up my day somehow, magically, makes me feel like a person, not just a cloud of dust on the way to another stupid thing.
I tried fighting *for real* for a couple weeks. It didn’t go well. I had to stop and examine whether or not my desire to instantly Know Everything was getting in the way of me actually Learning Something, but I realized that for now– and maybe this will change in a year, or a week or a day— but what makes sense to me are drills and repetition and the boring technique stuff that takes me out of my brain and into my body– but actually being faced with an opponent is overwhelmingly stressful for me, because I don’t know what’s going to happen so I don’t know what to do and then it’s right back into my brain again, which defeats the purpose.
The second thing (and this segue ways nicely into my next topic) is making …things. “Things” is vague. Some days, I am a poet. Some days, I am a graphic designer. Other days I am a baker, or a writer, or a set designer, or a costume stitcher or a million other things– I wear many hats, because I enjoy hats. And doing things.
I have, suddenly, become more of a writer as of late. There was a performance that I did at the Establishment Theatre to open a stand-up comedy night (because nothing says “comedy” like slam poetry about Shakespeare), there was having the amazing opportunity to perform at the One State Conference, my sudden adoption into a group of insanely talented writers and artists (more on that later), and that sudden remembering that “oh yeah, I like doing this”.
Life gets in the way, and I hate that.
I suppose this is where the announcement comes in– I am sure most of you noticed the abysmal failure that the “blog a day” project took– yeah, that didn’t end so well.
However, in the next few weeks (okay, months), I am going to be restructuring this into different sections that better parallel my interests, and post about them, which, in my mind, will spur me to write more/do more things instead of just letting the days fly by.
So look forward to that.