It’s funny how things work out sometimes.
Sometimes, as soon as you find yourself convinced that your life is set and stable and aligned perfectly to work the way you want it to, some random comment or suggestion or inkling of an idea sneaks in and shakes up everything you think you had planned out.
In the next week, I’m going to be taking the biggest risk I’ve ever taken…because I have to.
I’ve been debating and thinking and arguing with myself all weekend, convincing myself “yes, do it, you’re awesome and great and everything will work out perfectly” and then listening to the “no, you’re stupid and dumb and this will never work and you’re an idiot for trying” voices that sneak when things are the quietest.
I had a sudden realization, though, that finalized my decision. I just realized…I have to know. I’m at that point in my life where I have a choice to make. I can choose to take the safe route with the steady job, or I can try for this. And I know that if I don’t, maybe in five years or ten years or three days, I will regret it. I will regret not going for something seemingly so perfect and fitting and wonderful, and I can’t pass this up.
I do not want to spend my life wondering what would have happened if I’d gone for this. I want to know what happens after the part where I go for it. I want to see the result, not just imagine the part leading up to it.
And maybe it doesn’t work out, and that’s fine too. I’ll come back to my steady job that I really like and continue with my life and probably never speak about it again.
But if it did work out…
My life may change. Extraordinarily. And I am so, so very excited for that chance.