Bad Movies, Godzilla and Love.

When Jake and I first started hanging out in that “we’re more than friends but we’re not dating”  period of time, I remember looking through his DVD collection and being impressed with his varied and vast collection of shitty movies, namely, horror movies and a nearly complete collection of Toho Kingdom monster films.

While I may have SLIGHTLY exaggerated the number of Godzilla films I’d actually seen in order to impress him (Okay, tripled the number), since our official “first date”, we have watched every single Godzilla movie– in order of release– except for two.

Not only that, but during the crazy process that was Titus, I did some highly questionable internet shopping through some highly questionable sources and managed to track down three of the most elusive movies in the Toho cannon, thusly completing Jake’s collection. I was pretty happy with myself.

So now the collection is complete and I’ve seen nearly all of them.

During October, our house transforms into an-almost admission worthy haunted house, complete with horror-movie nights, which are my favorite. Bad horror movies, above all else, are, to me, a testament to the will and dedication of legions of bad directors, actors and special effects crews the world over.

It’s really kind of amazing when you think about it. Someone thought that “Stabby Nurses from Outerspace” (not a real film) was a good idea. So they wrote the script, raised the money, found enough crew and actors to all be on board with it, and made a crap film. And now we, the unsuspecting public, get to reap the benefits of said crap film. It’s kind of an inspirational message about sticking to your dreams. No matter how terrible they are.

But back to Godzilla.

Godzilla movies are kind of in the same Japanese fishing boat. (HA). They have this great B-movie quality to them, but yet, since 1954, they’ve been churning out movies with, essentially, the same plot over and over again. Plot Synopsis: OH FUCK A GIANT MONSTER. There goes the city! We should use ______________________ to fight him! It worked! And now it heads off to sea/in a big pile of rocks/ice. It probably won’t come back. (Kiss ingenue). The End.

And they’re all great. Well, terrible. And great. There are some really good ones, and there are some that I’ve slept through, but my appreciation for the films keeps growing.

I love it. The ingenuity of the special effects is absolutely remarkable, which, oddly enough, has become one of my favorite things to watch for. (You try puppeteering a seven-headed dragon and see how easy it is). We watched an awesome documentary about how they built the models and did the special effects, and the amount of detail and work they put into things like fake trees is amazing– and all to get fucked up by some asshole in a rubber suit.

I also unsuspectingly became a fan of some of the regular actors that appear in dozens of the films. I don’t know their real names, but “Oh hey, That Guy!” or “Oh Hey, Army Guy!” has become a relatively common occurring during movies.  My favorite is “Oh Hey, Eyepatch Guy!”– the odd “accessories” actor who always seems to have an eyepatch or a fake mustache or something. I like the idea that, much like Brad Pitt always eating, he decided that he always wanted some odd facial adornment.

That’s the other thing. I never thought this would happen, but I have a favorite Godzilla suit. Did you know that it has changed dramatically from its original concept? *Pushes up glasses*.


Jake called that the original Mothra movie would be me favorite. It’s the girliest of them all, and while I hate admitting that  he’s right, the Mothra twins are pretty much my favorite feature in any and all movies they appear in.

So now we have two left, which leaves me in an odd place. After these two, that’s it, that’s all. About halfway through the marathon (which has spanned nearly 2 1/2 years at this point), we realized that we should have been reviewing them. So there’s that option. Start a blog, watch them all again, gain internet fame and fortune, free pass to ComicCon (because mine expired this year…sad day), but part of me wonders what else there is out there.

I have this thing where once I start a show, I want to watch the ENTIRE show in sucesssion. Doctor Who kept me up until 4AM every night for about two months– worth it. We’re working our way through Supernatural now, but we’re only watching one or two a night, so it’s taking much longer than I’d like.

It’s a very strange opposite– I seldom finish video games, but I treat series as a personal challenge to see how many I can watch in a day.

So, after Godzilla is over, what comes next? I had the startlingly odd realization that after Complete Works is over, I have an ENTIRE MONTH to do nothing in the evenings. It’s kind of a glorious feeling. Plus, the Olympics will be starting so our TV viewing will start consisting of nothing but that coverage for awhile, but after those two movies…the world is my proverbial oyster.

Except I’ll probably re-watch the good ones.

Why I Suck At Skyrim

So, it finally happened.

After an exhausting “four” month (read: one and a half years prep + 4 months actual rehearsal) process, Titus is finally over and we’re all (slowly) starting to move on with our lives.

Not only has Titus passed, the “Skyrim Ban” has finally lifted.  During the show, a cast-wide embargo on Skyrim was put in place, and I was amazed at how many people actually stuck to their word. We didn’t even have a functioning PlayStation during the run, so not only did we not have access to video games, Netflix was also right out. I feel like it made us more productive, notwithstanding our Godzilla marathon.

We’ve only got one more Godzilla movie to go before we’ve completed the entire Toho Kingdom Compendium of Godzilla Movies. Meaning that Jake is either going to have to propose or break up with me, because we’re either going to never talk about this again or start over so we can start a website and REVIEW ALL THE TOHOS! Including the rare ones that I went through highly-questionable means to get for Jake to complete his collection.

Anyway,this week, Jake finally cracked and bought a new PS3 to replace our dearly departed and picked up a copy of Skyrim to boot. I’ve been watching him play all week, and I’ve tried the game myself, but I’ll be honest and say that I don’t have the personality to deal with it.

Here’s what I figured out.

I get shit done, and I get it done quick. You want a toe? I can get you a toe. You need someone to memorize an entire script by tomorrow afternoon? No worries. Theatre is my job, whether or not it be my “paying” gig of the moment, and I am wired for efficiency. I can’t keep my house or my car clean, but if you forget your blocking, I wrote it down for you, just in case.

This is why I can’t deal with Skyrim. There’s absolutely no efficiency to the process. Jake has been wandering around Mount Doom or whatever for about four hours now and absolutely nothing has happened.

(Jake is insisting here that I tell you that he’s not only killed a Dragon today, but has also killed a Giant and he is only a level 9). So…there’s that.

Now, here, you say “But Catie, you’re clearly just a fan of side scrollers, why don’t you stop whining?” And it’s true– I love me some side scrollers– but Dead Space still remains one of my favorite games. (Although, Dead Space did have the Magic Guiding Light to guide you to your next task…), and I’ve played the hell out of many other free-roam games…I just never finish them. I want there to be an efficiency to my questing.

“But Catie” (you say) “The journey to the end of the quest is what it’s all about!”

My response, of course, would be : Shut up,  nerd. If I have to walk the hell across Skyrim to give some asshole a letter so he can send me right back where I came from so I can go climb a mountain to fight a dragon so I can move on with my quest….he can do it himself. What else is he doing, anyway, besides reciting three arbitrary lines of dialogue every time I bump into him?

Anyway, boyfriend interjections aside, I just don’t get it. The game itself is beautiful. The world is expansive and detailed to a point of ridiculousness. But all I want to do is make friends, and whenever I try to play, people try to stab me in the face with arrows. Plus, I have a guilt complex about killing dragons because I listened to a lot of Peter Paul and Mary as a kid and I feel like they KNOW.

I think a great deal of it has to do with attention span. I am absolutely impatient unless I’m passionate about what I’m waiting for. I’ll go through weeks of rehearsal and dwell on a four-line speech, but give me a controller and an open world with no direct option to get to point B and I will go berserk in 10 minutes. I’ve never finished a Legend of Zelda game. There. I said it. I get about 1/3 of the way through and just get bored. I promised Jake that this summer I would finish Ocarina of Time. I started it last year,but life and shows and not understanding why the
@#$%(*#$$# HORSE WON’T JUST COME OVER HERE got in the way.

I’m determined to finish it. I think it will be a good exercise in patience. And understanding. And not throwing controllers. Not that I’ve done that.

What I need to do is go memorize my lines for Hamlet, but this is so much easier and less Hamlet-y.

I don’t think Hamlet would like Skyrim either. There. I just did character research.